mydogsessence

Why Your Dog Needs to Shred — And Why You Shouldn’t Get Upset About It

If you’ve ever walked into a room and found your dog joyfully shredding napkins, tissues, a cardboard box, or the mail (whoops)… take a breath.
Your dog isn’t trying to annoy you.
They’re expressing a deep, natural need that’s built into who they are.

Shredding is not misbehavior — it’s communication, instinct, and emotional release all wrapped in one.

Let’s break down why shredding matters, and how you can use it to strengthen your bond instead of getting frustrated.

Shredding Is a Natural Instinct

Dogs shred for many reasons, all of them rooted in normal canine behavior:

🐾 1. It feels good.

Shredding activates your dog’s dissecting instinct — something all dogs have.
Tearing something apart is mentally satisfying and physically enriching.

🐾 2. It relieves stress.

Some dogs shred when they’re anxious or unsure how to process emotions.
Shredding gives them a healthy outlet to release frustration, tension, or nervous energy.

🐾 3. It’s a boredom buster.

If your dog is full of energy and has nothing to do, they’ll naturally try to create their own “job.”
Shredding becomes a self-made activity.

🐾 4. It builds confidence.

Every successful tear is a tiny win.
For nervous dogs, shredding can make them feel powerful, capable, and in control.

Don’t Punish the Need — Understand It

When you catch your dog shredding something “forbidden,” it’s easy to react with:

❌ “No!”
❌ “Why would you do this?!”
❌ “Bad dog!”

But here’s the truth:
Your dog isn’t being disrespectful, stubborn, or spiteful.

They’re telling you:
“I’m feeling something. I need an outlet.”

Instead of asking “Why are you doing this?” try shifting your mindset to:

“Are you feeling the need to shred? Thanks for telling me. Let me help you.”

This shift changes everything.

Because when we get angry, we don’t just stop the behavior —
we break trust.
We make our dogs afraid to express natural needs.
We shut down communication.

But when you respond with understanding, you tell your dog:
“I see you. Let me support you.”

And that builds connection, safety, and teamwork.

Give Them Something Legal to Shred

If your dog needs to shred, you can guide that need instead of fighting it (because you CAN’T fight genetics).

Try offering:

  • Cardboard boxes
  • Toilet paper rolls
  • Old newspapers
  • Paper bags
  • Dog-safe shreddable toys
  • DIY enrichment shredding activities

This teaches your dog:
✔️ You’re allowed to shred
✔️ But here’s where and what you can shred
✔️ And I’m here to help you feel safe while you do it

It turns a “problem behavior” into a shared activity that strengthens your relationship.

“Won’t encouraging shredding make my dog shred even more?”

Here’s the honest answer:

If your dog is a shredder… they’re a shredder.
It’s part of their genetics.

Allowing them to shred appropriate items won’t create the behavior —
it just gives them a safe, healthy outlet for a natural instinct they already have.

When you meet your dog’s needs, the urge to shred forbidden items actually decreases.
A dog with a healthy outlet is a calmer, happier dog.

Understanding the Need = Stronger Relationship

Shredding is not defiance.
It’s information.
It’s communication.
It’s instinct.

And when you respond with curiosity instead of frustration, you help your dog:

  • manage their emotions
  • release stress
  • build confidence
  • trust you more deeply

Because you’re no longer the “party pooper” shutting down their needs —
you’re their partner, their helper, their safe place.

Want a DIY Shredding Activity?

I’ve got you covered.
Here’s an easy, safe, super-fun shredding project you can make at home — perfect for giving your dog the outlet they’re craving.

And if shredding is something your dog struggles with in a big way, or if you’re worried about resource guarding, anxiety, or over-excitement, I’m always here to guide you through it so you can turn this instinct into connection instead of frustration.

mydogsessence

How to Help Your Dog Stay Safe and Calm in the Car

When it comes to car rides, many pet parents focus on getting from point A to point B—but how your dog travels matters just as much as where you’re going.

A crate in the car isn’t just about safety in case of an accident (though that’s reason enough). It also plays a key role in your dog’s emotional regulation.

When dogs ride loose in the car, they often start getting overexcited or overstimulated before you even arrive at class, the park, or the vet. The combination of movement, passing cars, people, and even seeing other dogs builds emotional intensity—and if this happens regularly, it becomes a habit.

Soon, car rides = instant excitement.
Which means by the time you reach your destination, your dog is already overloaded and less able to focus, learn, or stay calm.

Using a crate helps your dog associate the car with calmness and safety. It becomes their place to settle, not to scan the world or build tension.

And the more they practice being calm in the crate, the easier it becomes for them to stay calm in other situations too, like walking into class ready to learn, not explode.

Crating your dog in the car:

  • Keeps them physically safe
  • Encourages emotional stability
  • Builds a habit of calm travel
  • Makes transitions into new environments much smoother

The calmer your dog rehearses being, the more predictable and enjoyable life becomes for both of you.

Bottom line? The crate is more than a safety tool, it’s a mindset shifter.
Start today, and help your dog build the habit of calm from the moment the car door closes.

Make sure to take your dog’s measurements and check that the crate fits in your car 😉. Here are a two crate options:

Crate training doesn’t have to be stressful for you or your dog.
If you’d like guidance on helping your dog feel calm and happy in their crate, I’m just an email away! Contact me at marly@mydogsessence.com.

mydogsessence

Listening With Your Eyes: The Importance of Dog Body Language

One of the most powerful tools you can have as a dog owner is the ability to read your dog’s body language. Our dogs are communicating with us all the time—but unlike us, they don’t use words. Instead, they use posture, movement, facial expressions, and energy to share how they’re feeling. And when we learn to understand those subtle cues, we become better advocates, better handlers, and better friends to our dogs.

It’s OK If Your Dog Doesn’t Like Everyone

Just like people, dogs have preferences. Some are social butterflies, and others are more selective with who they’re comfortable around. And that’s okay. What’s not okay—at least in our human world—is when a dog expresses their discomfort through aggressive behavior like growling, lunging, or biting.

But here’s the thing: those behaviors are your dog’s way of saying, “Please give me space.” They are often the result of smaller, earlier signals being ignored—like turning their head away, licking their lips, yawning, tensing up, or trying to retreat. When those signs are missed or dismissed, a dog may feel they have no choice but to escalate their communication.

Know Your Dog, So You Can Help

That’s why it’s so important to know your dog. Every dog is different. Learning their stress signals, triggers, and comfort zones allows you to step in before things go sideways. If your dog seems unsure or uneasy, you can redirect, offer space, or use training games to help them feel more in control. These small actions can make a big difference in your dog’s confidence and emotional safety.

It’s Not Just Stress, It’s Excitement, Too

Being able to read your dog isn’t only about recognizing fear or discomfort—it’s also about recognizing excitement. Overexcitement can lead to behaviors like jumping on people, barking, or pulling on the leash. These moments often get labeled as “bad behavior,” when really, they’re just emotional overflow.

If you see your dog getting amped up before greeting someone, take a moment to help them settle before saying hello. Use calm reinforcement, reward quiet behavior, and give them a second to breathe. This helps prevent the jumpy hellos and teaches your dog how to navigate social moments with calmness and confidence.

Use Training Games to Support Your Dog

While you’re working through the situations your dog finds hard—whether it’s being around new people, visiting the vet, or greeting other dogs—you can use training games to help. Games build positive associations, strengthen your bond, and give your dog tools to cope with stress or excitement. Plus, they’re fun for both of you!

If you’d like to learn what games are right for your dog and how to use them in real life situations, reach out to me here, I’d love to help you get started.

To Sum It Up:

Understanding your dog’s body language isn’t about preventing all challenges, it’s about responding with compassion, guidance, and awareness. The more we learn to observe and listen to our dogs, the better we can support them in feeling safe, secure, and successful in the human world.

Your dog doesn’t need to love every person or situation. They just need you, their handler, advocate, and teammate to notice, understand, and help them through it.

So take the time to learn, observe, and grow alongside your dog. Celebrate their efforts, meet them where they are, and let your training journey be rooted in trust and love. The more you understand them, the deeper your bond becomes and there’s nothing more beautiful than truly knowing and loving your dog for who they are.

Want to dive deeper into reading your dog’s signals? Here are two wonderful books I highly recommend:

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Why Letting Your Dog Choose is So Powerful

One of the most effective ways to build a confident, thoughtful dog is to reward the choices they make — not just the commands they follow.

Why It Matters
When your dog decides on their own to disengage from a distraction and come back to you, that’s a decision worth celebrating! You’re reinforcing their ability to think, not just react to a cue. That moment becomes a powerful learning opportunity:

“Wow, leaving that smelly bush and returning to my human was so worth it!”

If you always call them away from the distraction, they don’t get to practice the skill of disengaging on their own. They miss the chance to learn that choosing to come back pays off in praise, treats, and connection.

Here’s the beauty of it:
When your dog chooses correctly, good consequences follow — like reinforcement, treats, and praise. If they don’t make the right choice, the consequence is simply that no reward happens.
But the consequences are never about correction or intimidation. You’re not coaching them with pressure — you’re giving them space to learn through experience. That builds confidence, self-esteem, and strengthens your relationship.

Dogs who are allowed to make choices (and learn from them) trust us more. They want to be near us — because we’re fun, fair, and predictable.

Training vs. Management (both good!)
There’s a difference between training and management:

  • If the situation is dangerous or overwhelming, step in and manage it — call your dog, leash them, move away. Safety always comes first.
  • But if the distraction is safe (like a leaf pile, a person at a distance, or a dog behind a fence), use it as a training opportunity. Wait quietly. Watch. When they choose to disengage and come back to you — that’s your moment. Celebrate it!

Confidence Through Choice
Rewarding your dog’s good decisions helps them build confidence — and confident dogs:

  • Are better problem-solvers
  • Bounce back faster from stressful or negative situations
  • Make calmer choices in new environments
  • Are more fun and reliable to live with

So let’s set our dogs up to win:

✔️ Use training setups where the “right” choice is likely
✔️ Reinforce any good decision they make — not just the ones you ask for
✔️ Help them feel like the hero of their own story!

When we build a dog who chooses well on their own, we’re not just training obedience — we’re creating a relationship based on trust, respect, and mutual joy.

And that is powerful.

Have fun training and enjoy your dog!

Want help teaching your dog to make better choices? Contact us at marly@mydogsessence.com and book a free 30-minute consult. I’d love to help!

Read or share this post in the Spanish version.

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Potty Training Puppies: Building the Foundation for Success

Welcoming a puppy into your home is such a joyful experience — but let’s be honest, potty training can quickly turn into one of the most frustrating parts of raising a new furry family member if it’s not set up properly from the start.

When potty habits don’t have a strong foundation, they can fall apart very quickly, leading to stress for everyone. But here’s the good news: potty training is actually more simple than we think — and yes, at the same time, it can feel difficult too!

Let me break it down for you:

Why Potty Training Is Simple — and Why It’s Not

It’s simple because your puppy has lots of chances to practice every single day. Every nap, every meal, every play session is an opportunity to teach them the right potty habits.

It’s hard because if your puppy accidentally practices in the wrong spot, that behavior can also get stronger — and then you’re dealing with confusion and bad habits.

Going potty is a basic need, not a behavior they are trying to get wrong. Puppies have to go. It’s our job to show them where it’s appropriate to relieve themselves, without making them feel nervous or scared.

If we react strongly with a harsh “NO!” when they have an accident, they may become anxious about going potty around us — leading them to hide to do their business or wait until we’re not watching.
That’s not what we want! Instead, let’s focus on clear guidance and positive reinforcement.

How to Teach Potty Training the Positive Way

✔️ When your puppy goes potty in the right place, REWARD them generously. Use your voice, happy gestures, body language, and of course, treats! Make it a party. 🥳

✔️ If they have an accident, calmly clean it up without showing frustration, and then gently take them to the correct spot — because they might still need to go again!

✔️ Add a verbal cue and/or a hand signal (if you have a deaf dog) when you’re pretty sure they are about to go. You might say something like “Go potty” right before they go.
Once they do, immediately mark it with “Yes!” (or your positive marker) and reward with treats and praise. This builds a strong association between the cue and the action.

✔️ Take your dog to potty on different surfaces — grass, gravel, mulch, dirt, even concrete.
You want your dog to understand that the cue (“Go potty”) means it’s time to relieve themselves — not that they can only go on grass.
This will save you a lot of headaches later when you’re traveling or in areas without ideal potty spots!

✔️ Practice pottying both on leash and off leash whenever it’s safe to do so.
Some dogs have trouble connecting the dots because going potty on leash feels very different from being loose.
Getting them comfortable in both situations now will save you from future struggles.

✔️ Don’t rush them. Puppies sense our urgency. If you’re impatient, they might actually delay going because they feel pressured.

✔️ Remember: Your puppy isn’t trying to upset you. They might not fully understand yet, or they simply couldn’t hold it. Our job is to make it as clear and positive as possible.

Key Times to Take Your Puppy to Their Potty Spot

Timing is everything! Take your puppy to their potty area:

  • After waking up from a nap
  • After playing
  • After eating
  • After a training session

(And anytime you notice them sniffing around or circling.)

If they potty outside and then come inside and go again, it often means you didn’t wait long enough or they weren’t fully finished.
When that happens, take them back out, and if they potty again — jackpot them!
Give 10 tiny treats one by one with lots of praise to really let them know, THAT was the right choice!

Patience Builds Trust

Potty training is more than just teaching a skill — it’s a chance to strengthen your bond with your puppy. Being patient, positive, and consistent will help your puppy trust you more deeply, and that trust will make all future training much easier.

Need a Little Extra Help?

If you’re looking for an easy, fun way to start your training journey, my online course “1st Things 1st” would be a wonderful place to begin!
It’s filled with simple, positive games and lessons to help you and your puppy build a great relationship right from the start.

➡️ Click here to check out “1st Things 1st”

You’ve got this! 🌟 Remember — the puppy stage is short. Be patient, have fun, and celebrate every little success along the way!

mydogsessence

Welcoming a New Puppy: Mindset, Training, and Setting Up for Success

Bringing a new puppy home is such a joyful and exciting time! Their tiny paws, wiggly tails, and curious noses bring so much happiness. But along with the excitement, it’s completely normal for a little overwhelm to sneak in. Puppies create big changes in your daily routine, and change, even happy change, can feel stressful.

Here’s something to keep in mind: the puppy stage is incredibly short.
Your little ball of fur won’t be a puppy forever — in fact, you’ll blink and find yourself looking at a grown dog. It’s a season of discovery for them and for you. If you can view this time as a short, special window to teach, guide, and connect, you’ll set your puppy (and yourself!) up for a lifetime of success together.

The key is to lean into this stage with patience, planning, and a mindset of curiosity — just like your puppy!

To help you enjoy the journey and make things easier, here are a few simple but vital recommendations:

1. Potty Training Plan

Think ahead about where you want your puppy to go potty. Variety is important — we don’t want puppies to only recognize one surface!
Whenever they go in the right spot, say, “Go potty!” and reward them with a treat.
Consistency, praise, and patience will go a long way here.

You can read more in formation about Potty training here.

2. Sleeping Arrangements

Dogs are social, pack-oriented animals. Puppies especially find comfort in being close to their people.
Have an idea of where your puppy will sleep — it could be a crate by your bed or a cozy bed nearby. Being close helps them feel safe and strengthens your bond.

3. Eating and Drinking Setup

Plan where your puppy will eat and drink.
There are lots of choices when it comes to food — the fresher, the better for their long-term health.
For bowls, I recommend stainless steel over plastic to avoid bacteria build-up and possible allergic reactions.

4. Create a Safe Spot

Every puppy needs a “den” — a quiet, peaceful place where they can relax and recharge.
It could be a crate, a pen, or a special corner with their bed and some toys.
The important thing is that it’s their choice to go in and come out — not somewhere they are locked or shut in.
This helps them feel safe, independent, and confident, knowing they have a peaceful space of their own whenever they need it.

5. Essential Tools

A few basics will make life easier:

Letting your puppy sniff and explore is like giving them a chance to check “doggy social media” — it’s important for their mental stimulation and happiness!

6. Focus on Relationship First

It’s easy to feel pressure to start obedience training right away — sit, stay, down — but in these early days, the most important thing you can work on is building a trusting relationship.
Connection comes first. Trust comes first.
When you build a strong bond, teaching obedience later will be so much easier — and so much more joyful for both of you.

If you’re looking for a gentle, fun, and effective way to kick off your training journey, my online course 1st Things 1st is a perfect place to start!
It’s full of games and activities designed to strengthen your relationship, build focus, and grow your puppy’s confidence from the very beginning.

Final Thoughts

Yes, puppies bring change — but it’s change filled with potential and joy.
Every silly zoomie, every wobbly sit, every new discovery is shaping who they will become.

Treasure this stage.
Be patient with yourself.
Celebrate the small wins.
And remember — you are building the foundation for a happy, confident adult dog who trusts you and enjoys life by your side.

You’ve got this!